i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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