the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize
