my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
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