We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Is it because I queefed?
only you would photoshop your dick
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
