How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
