Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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