I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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