we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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