he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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