I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
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