A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
You can't special order awesome
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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