Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
