Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
