is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
