Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
are you so shy because you have an std?
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
