There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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