Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
