A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Randomize
