I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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