I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
