She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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