i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Randomize
