Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
