barbara walters just said penis...
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
