Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
