You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
