I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
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