Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Randomize
