i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
