He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
