sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
