In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
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We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
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Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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