I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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