i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I currently don't understand fingers.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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