I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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