some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
