We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
