I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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