puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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