john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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