walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
