Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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