Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
