Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
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I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
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Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude