is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Randomize
