Texts From Last Night

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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!

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  (508): I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON! http://tfl.nu/qryp
  Replies (19) Good night (1614) Bad night (697)
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  (845): View more from New York

  People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk

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  (845): People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk http://tfl.nu/qmhf
  Replies (4) Good night (5742) Bad night (572)
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  (408): View more from California

  They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.

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  (408): They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald. http://tfl.nu/krtp
  Replies (21) Good night (8085) Bad night (1410)
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  (716): View more from New York

  You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.

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  (716): You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough. http://tfl.nu/zxfj
  Replies (8) Good night (925) Bad night (2666)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".

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  (330): I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry". http://tfl.nu/b71c
  Replies (5) Good night (803) Bad night (1740)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?

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  (214): Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece? http://tfl.nu/qvgx
  Replies (9) Good night (1542) Bad night (940)
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  (914): View more from New York

  Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?

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  (914): Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea? http://tfl.nu/04z0
  Replies (8) Good night (1400) Bad night (696)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.

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  (919): My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it. http://tfl.nu/7nca
  Replies (27) Good night (3038) Bad night (766)
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  (805): View more from California

  Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.

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  (805): Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep. http://tfl.nu/gnxv
  Replies (0) Good night (527) Bad night (812)
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  (347): View more from New York

  I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?

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  (347): I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night? http://tfl.nu/sddm
  Replies (17) Good night (660) Bad night (1690)
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  (269): View more from Michigan

  When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.

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  (269): When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor. http://tfl.nu/zxit
  Replies (3) Good night (1187) Bad night (356)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.

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  (703): Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village. http://tfl.nu/vbou
  Replies (1) Good night (1323) Bad night (404)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.

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  (832): Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober. http://tfl.nu/wntc
  Replies (7) Good night (1047) Bad night (304)
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  (914): View more from New York

  Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."

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  (914): Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover." http://tfl.nu/wk3b
  Replies (4) Good night (819) Bad night (568)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.

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  (724): She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma. http://tfl.nu/9fyo
  Replies (1) Good night (420) Bad night (466)

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