I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.