I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
So much Jack, so little girl.