I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Randomize
