Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(734): View more from Michigan

Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.

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(734): View more from Michigan

Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.

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(805): View more from California

woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."

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(732): View more from New Jersey

i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono

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27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Read it at the TFLN blog
(859): View more from Kentucky

I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.

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(404): View more from Georgia

I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.

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(616): View more from Michigan

You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.

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(503): View more from Oregon

So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?

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(417): View more from Missouri

I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.

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