So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
what is it with giant penises always finding me
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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