I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
