thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
