Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
