the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Randomize
