Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
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