what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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