Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize
