He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
