Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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