its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
