We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Randomize
