that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
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