You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
