He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Randomize
