I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
He better not be in your backpack
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Randomize
