the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
She needs sedatives and a leash
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Randomize
