3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
