I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
